Peer Reviews I have Given (Jenny G. and Melissa B.):

Comments I gave include:

• “I think the counterargument should go after the fourth paragraph because it feels too sudden where it is located now [third paragraph].” -Me on Jenny’s RCA rough draft #2.
• “Each claim is supported by a primary source and has enough evidence to back it up, however, give evidence to support the claim ‘as generations pass, we become more inclined…'” -Me on Jenny’s RCA rough draft #2.
• “There are a few facts not supported with in-text citations such as ‘many weren’t able to reunite with their families…'” -Me on Jenny’s RCA rough draft #2.
• “I think there is a clear resolution at the end of your essay and your conclusion made me feel very empowered. However, I think that instead of writing ‘my experience from the past,’ you could summarize what those experiences actually were to remind your reader and emphasize your journey.” -Me on Melissa’s Literacy Narrative rough draft #1.
• “In the second to last paragraph, you write that you start getting off track in the sixth grade because you were with the wrong crowd. I wish you could elaborate more on that and provide more details about why you were ‘with the wrong crowd’ in the first place.” -Me on Melissa’s Literacy Narrative rough draft #1.

Peer Reviews I Have Received (Melissa B. and Assma M.):

Comments I received include:

• “Esmeralda used the senses ‘sight’ and ‘smell’ to help the reader create a mental image. Honestly, I wished for some areas you would have used vivid description/language to describe it. For example, the part where your mom would read or tell you stories. More on how you studied like your life depended on it.” -Melissa on my Literacy Narrative rough draft #2.
• “Yes, the intro grabbed my interest because she compared her mother to a queen from the fairytales she grew up reading. The intro has the necessary background info, however, I don’t think the thesis is in the intro. You have to read the whole story to understand.” -Melissa on my Literacy Narrative rough draft #2.
• “Try to use more vivid language and try to be precise in what you are trying to convey because I am positive that this is over 750 words.” -Melissa on my Literacy Narrative rough draft #2.
• “I feel she should put paragraph 4 right after the intro, then paragraph 2 and paragraph 3. This is more logical if you explain the show first then dive into the topic of mental illness.” -Assma on my RCA rough draft #2.
• “Maybe you can include an article about someone with a mental illness to show what their view on this whole thing is.” -Assma on my RCA rough draft #2.

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